installs and is listed on my programs but when i go back to you tube it says the same thing, You must uprade your ADOBE FLASH PLAYER TO view this video plus my facebook signs me in but doesnt let me see my messages and stuff....please can someone help me??

If me, I would Uninstall Flash Player then Install Adobe Flash Player again. Be sure to uncheck McAfee and anything else you don't want.

Have you scanned for malware?