apparently my machine has a 56kbps modem inside it but it only ever connects at 28.8, its an intel (r) 536 EP modem if thats any help, i would appreciate any tips for making it go faster but please explain tips simply!

Have you gone into control panel/system/device manager? Open the + beside modem, right click on the modem itself and select properties. Under one of the tabs you should find connection speed. Check that its not set too low.