Emo Phillips was - and still is! - the strangest comedian I've ever come across. Surreal barely covers it.

Go to his website and click on "Generate" in the top right corner for a sample of Random Emo Logic.

http://www.emophilips.com/home

The EMO computer:

aka: Balky space station computers revived

HOUSTON (Reuters) - Balky computers on the International Space Station were fully revived on Saturday, but crew members admitted the problem had worried them and served as a reminder that spaceflight is dangerous.

Station commander Fyodor Yurchikin and flight engineer Oleg Kotov rewired the bank of computers to bypass a power outlet that NASA and Russian space officials believe may have caused them to crash on Monday.

The computers, which are German-made and use Russian software, are critical because they keep the $100 billion space station properly positioned for solar power generation and communications.

Long-term failure could force abandonment of the space station, a 16-nation project that has been continuously manned since November 2, 2000.

"In the very beginning, we were a little bit worried about the status of the computers because, you know, this was the first time the whole set of Russian computers crashed at once," Kotov said in a crew press conference from space.

"This morning we finished our trouble-shooting activity and now we have a good set of computers."

http://www.reuters.com/article/newsO...37907120070617

HAL: I'm afraid. I'm afraid, Dave. Dave, my mind is going. I can feel it. I can feel it. My mind is going. There is no question about it. I can feel it. I can feel it. I can feel it. I'm a... fraid. Good afternoon, gentlemen. I am a HAL 9000 computer. I became operational at the H.A.L. plant in Urbana, Illinois on the 12th of January 1992. My instructor was Mr. Langley, and he taught me to sing a song. If you'd like to hear it I can sing it for you.

Who or What?

Did I confuse the threads?

O I am so Emo.

HAL: I know I've made some very poor decisions recently, but I can give you my complete assurance that my work will be back to normal. I've still got the greatest enthusiasm and confidence in the mission. And I want to help you

Open the pod bay doors, HAL.

HAL? Will you open the pod bay doors?

HAL?

HAL! Open those m***********g goddamn pod bay doors! I'm coming in there and I'm disconnecting you! I'm gonna to rip your circuits to pieces! You homicidal piece of junk - you murdered Frank, you murdered those poor bastards in their sleep, and now....

(Long, long silence, broken only by the whirring of the instruments in the pod)

HAL - that stuff about disconnecting you - just a joke, okay?

Buddies again?

Be a pal. Open the pod bay doors.

Please, HAL?

Pretty please?

In outer space, nobody can hear you sob.