LOL

Check these out.... http://rinkworks.com/stupid/

Some of my favourites

Tech Support: "Tell me, is the cursor still there?"
Customer: "No, I'm alone right now."
__________________________________________________ ___

• Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop."
• Customer: "Ok."
• Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?"
• Customer: "No."
• Tech Support: "Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"
• Customer: "No."
• Tech Support: "Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?"
• Customer: "Sure, you told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'."

(At this point I had to put the caller on hold to tell the rest of the tech support staff what had happened. I couldn't, however, stop from giggling when I got back to the call.)

• Tech Support: "Ok, did you type 'click' with the keyboard?"
• Customer: "I have done something dumb, right?"

__________________________________________________ ___

Customer: "I can't seem to connect to the Internet."
Tech Support: "Ah, right. What operating system are you running?"
Customer: "Netscape."
Tech Support: "No, what version of Windows are you using?"
Customer: "Uhhh...Hewlett Packard?"
Tech Support: "No, Right click on 'My Computer,' and select properties on the menu."
Customer: "Your computer? It's my computer!"
Tech Support: "No sir, I mean the little picture called 'My Computer' on your desktop."
Customer: "I don't see an icon called that on my desktop. I do see one called that on my screen."
Tech Support: "Right, just right click that, and choose Properties from the menu."
Customer: "Right click?"
Tech Support: "Just a moment, sir." (mutes phone) "AAAAAAAARGH."

Tech support call on the last day of working for the company:

Customer: I just got my computer in today and it doesn't seem to want to turn on.
Tech: OK ma'am, lets try a few things first....

After 10 minutes of troubleshooting on the phone, tech decides to try the obvious...

Tech: Ma'am, do me a favor and check to make sure your power cord is plugged into the power strip and the strip is plugged into the wall outlet.
Customer: OK, give me a second to get a candle to see back there...
Tech: (PAUSE) Ma'am, is your electricity off.
Customer: Why yes, it has been off since this morning.
Tech: (PAUSE) Ma'am, do me a favor, do you still have the box the system was shipped in?
Customer: Yes.
Tech: Could you take that system you just recieved, pack it up in the box, and ship it back to us? Cause you are TO DANG STUPID TO OWN ONE! (Click)

Tech left the company IMMEDIATELY after the call.

LOL, unbelieveable.

hey very nice ones.Enjoyed them.Thanks

Nother one:

Customer: My coaster is broken and I need it replaced.
Tech: (PAUSE) Excuse me ma'am? Did you say your coaster?
Customer: Yeah, you know, the automatice one that slides out when I hit the button on the front of the machine. It broke off today when I set my soda down on it.
Tech: (PAUSE) Uh, ma'am, thats your CD-Rom.....

D-A-L (my colleague) may remember this one. It was a completely genuine call from a customer to our helpdesk at work:

"Hi, I'm a bit confused about how I get the latest version of the software installed".
"OK, if you open the README file on the CD, that explains how to install. You basically just need to run the Setup program".
"Erm"
"Have you got a service pack CD sir?"
"No"
"Oh, OK, but you've got the CD for the main release before the service pack?".
"No, I haven't had a CD yet".
"Oh I see. I'll find out whether there's a delay at the moment. How long ago did you buy our software".
"Oh, I haven't bought it yet".

LOL ! Completely genuine. Shocking. That's why D-A-L and I have both progressed away from the helpdesk. The only thing that you could rely on with our customers is that they would be stupid !

:lol:
From where the hell do you get those.Damn funny.

My favourite site to read through when bored of dealing with muppet users is the Chronicle of Geroge! - http://chroniclesofgeorge.nanc.com/tickets1.htm

Created by a guy that worked with a 1st line support chap that filled in some very unhelpful, but amusing, support tickets.

Steve,

Off topic ...but can you email Mark L's mob number to me at admin@d-a-l.com - Cheers

you have mail!