Flatulence: hospital vehicle that picks you up when you've been run down by a steam roller

Balderdash: a rapidly receding hairline

Coffee: someone you cough on

Esplanade: to explain something while drunk

Flabbergasted: to be appalled at how much weight you've put on

Abdicate: to give up trying to have a six-pack stomach

Willy-nilly: impotent

Negligent: a man who puts on his wife's nightie because he's forgotten his pyjamas

Gargoyle: 3in1-flavoured mouthwash

Testicle: funny question in an exam

Rectitude: a dignified position held by a proctologist

Pokemon: a Rastafarian proctologist

Frisbeetarianism: a religious belief that your soul flies up on to the roof after death, never to return

Circumvent: the opening at the front of Jewish Y-fronts

Cat x

hehe, i like those, got nemore?

Here you go Clairelovestlc, just for you;
1. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until yourealize it was your money to start with.

2. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

3. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

4. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.

5. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.

6. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

7. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.

8. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

9. Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.

10. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)

11. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.

12. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.

13. Glibido: All talk and no action.

14. Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

15. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked
through a spider web.

16. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

17. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a grub in the fruit you're eating.

And the pick of the literature:
18. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an a**hole.

Cat x

lol

15. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked
through a spider web.

URGH my worst nightmare.