Two friends are about to tee off at the golf course when a guy calls out, "Mind if I join you? My partner didn't turn up."

"Sure," they say. So they start playing and the newcomer turns out to be a good guy.

Part way through the course, one of the friends asks him, "What do you do for a living?"

"I'm a hit man."

"You're joking!"

"Nope," he says, reaching into his golf bag and pulling out a Martini sniper's rifle with a large telescopic sight. "My tools."

"That's a beautiful scope," said the other friend. "Can I take a look? I think I might be able to see my house from here."

So he picks up the rifle and looks through the sight.

"Yeah, there's my house all right. This thing's fantastic. I can see right in the window. Wow, I can see my wife in the bedroom. Ha, ha -- she's naked!"

"Wait a minute, that's my neighbor in there with her. He's naked, too! The bitch!"

He turns to the hit man, "How much do you charge for a hit?"

"I charge a flat rate. A thousand dollars every time I pull the trigger."

"Can I order two?"

"Sure, what do you want?"

"First, shoot my wife. She never shuts up, so shoot her in the mouth. Then the neighbor. He's a friend of mine, so just shoot his dick off to teach him a lesson."

The hit man picks up the rifle and takes aim, standing perfectly still for a few minutes.

"Are you going to do it or not?" says the friend impatiently.

"Shhh," says the hit man calmly. "I think I can save you a grand here."