Some of the post's in the How old do you act? thread made me think of this.
I've had elders pass on their wisdom to me for better or worse. What are some gems you've herd?

My Father In-law
"Keep it simple, Stupid." (He's actually a pretty cool guy)

Grandpa
"Lots of dogs have been kicked by horses, but they figure out how to treat each other real quickly, and then they’ll be the best of friends or they’ll leave each other alone."
(we were really talking about my dog getting kicked by a horse, but it’s kind of useful in the world)

My neighbor
"A tool is never really worn out."


The best one's are from good old Dad, because he thinks he's funny.

"Never embarrass a girl in public."

"You have to actually "talk" to a girl before you get a date."

"Never piss uphill or into the wind." (He told us that every camping trip and it got a little old)

My family was at Disney land when I was 8 or 9 and my dad was sternly telling my to put my wallet in my front pocket??? Being too young to know about pick pockets I didn't get it, so I was hesitant and asking why. He grabs me by the arm looks me in they eye and says.
"Because you'll notice someone grabbing at your d*&k!"

"Because you'll notice someone grabbing at your d*&k!"

LMAO

Hey, his smart! That is a very sensitive area for guys... I have a few from my grandpa that I would like to share, but he had a tendency to add some colourful language that I have to find a good substitute for.

Honest to God, my wallet's still in my front pocket.
Half out of fear, half out of hope.

You young guys take notice; my dad's advice on girls must have worked, since I now have a Father In-Law.

heheheh thats why i aint got a gf ? (thinks) arrr i must have to try and talk to them before asking them out (thinks)

wow what great advice, would have neva thought of that . . .

I always keep my cards etc in a front pocket.............I live in hope...

My father in law always used to say "show me how you would you do this" and after I'd done it He'd say "thats the same way as I do it"

Another one...........don't eat yellow snow

When My uncle had to work on the car or lawnmower, he always had is son do the work saying" You'll never learn if you never do!" I was happy to not be my cousin!