>
>
>I went to a place called Germany with my Uncle Sven and some other grown
>up's. It is a country in Europe where a bad man called Adolf used to live
>with his nazties, he does not live there anymore, Uncle Owen does live
>there, and the grown up's say I cant talk about the bad man as it will make
>Uncle Owen cry if I do. In Germany there are lots of castles and some
>mountains. We are staying in a place called Baden Baden that's a silly
>name, Uncle Frank has the same name as his dad, that's silly too, his mum
>must get their underpants mixed up all the time.
>
>On the aeroplane Uncle Sol sat next to me, he got me some toffee and wants
>to be my friend, he works at the place where I do my YTS, so does Uncle
>Freddy but him and Uncle Sol are not best friends anymore.
>
>Uncle Owen met us at the airport, he talks foreign, Uncle Wayne, Uncle
>Steven and Uncle David also talk funny, my mum says Uncle David talks like
>Orville, he is a duck, Uncle Sol say's uncle David wears dresses and
>knickers, and asked me if I had ever worn them. Uncle Sol got me some pop.
>
>In Germany the grown ups are going to play football, my grandad says we
>beat them in the olden days before my mum was born. That is a long time
>ago.
>
>While the grown up's went to play football so I went shopping with Auntie
>Vicky and some other girls she bought me a big ice cream and got herself a
>little one but she said she was full before she had eaten any and threw it
>away. She bought lots of shoes and handbags and let me play with Brooklyn.
>She say's she used to be in a pop band and sang me one of her songs, I
>think she was telling fibs.
>
>I told Uncle Sol about my day out with Vicky and he sulked, then he bought
>me an even bigger ice cream with lots of hundred's & thousands on it.
>
>All the other grown up's have a girlfriend except Uncle Sol so he plays
>with me while they go out. Uncle Sven says I must keep Uncle Sol happy,
>that's why I got taken on holiday.
>
>The grown up's went to play Football against somebody called Sweden, Uncle
>Sol was crying as Uncle Freddy played for them and would not talk to him.
>Uncle Sol bought me lots of toffee today and some crisps. Uncle Sven is
>from Sweden and I heard him on the phone to their boss last night.
>Uncle Michael hurt his knee and had to go home to his mum for a plaster.
>Uncle Peter is a giant, a proper giant like you see in books, he is rubbish
>at football though.
>
>Uncle Wayne had a sore toe at the start of out holiday but it got better so
>they let him play football. Uncle Sol got me a present but I do not like
>it.
>He says all Germans wear leather underpants and I should while we are here,
>they are too tight for me.
>
>All the grown up's started to call Uncle Wayne a potato head who stood on
>somebodys spuds. He got shouted at by the referee. They are all saying that
>we have to go home now. Uncle Sol was crying again and I had to sit on his
>knee to make him stop. He had his mobile phone in his pocket, I think.
>
>BY THEO WALCOTT