>A radio station in Australia ran a phone-in competition to
>
> >Find the
>
> >
>
>most embarrassing moment in listener's lives.
>
> >
>
> >
>
>The final four were:
>
>
>
>4th Place.
>
>
>
>While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided
>
>To release some pent-up energy and started to run amuck.
>
>
>
>I was finally able to grab hold of her after receiving looks
>
>Of disgust and annoyance from other patrons.
>
>
>
>I told her that if she didn't start behaving herself, right
>
>now, She would be punished.
>
>
>
>To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice
>
>just as threatening, 'If you don't let me go right now, I will tell
>
>Grandma I saw you kissing Daddy's willie last night.'
>
>
>
>After this enlightening exchange, the silence was deafening.
>
> >
>
>Even the tellers stopped what they were doing.
>
>
>
>I mustered the last of my dignity and walked out of the
>
> >bank, with my daughter in tow.
>
>
>
>The last thing I heard as the door closed behind me were
>
>screams of laughter."
>
>
>
> 3rd Place.
>
>
>
>It was the day before my 18th birthday.
>
>I was living at home, but my parents had gone out for the evening,
>
>
>
>so I invited my girlfriend over for a romantic night alone.
>
>
>
>As we lay in bed after making love, we heard the telephone ringing
>downstairs.
>
>I suggested to my girlfriend that I give her a piggy-back ride down to the
>phone.
>
>Since we didn't want to miss the call, we didn't have time to get dressed.
>
>
>
>When we got to the bottom of the stairs, the lights suddenly came on as a
>
>whole crowd of people yelled SURPRISE'.
>
>
>
>My entire family - parents, the relo's as well as my
>
>friends, Were standing there.
>
>My girlfriend and I were frozen on the spot in a state of shock and
>
>embarrassment for what seemed like an eternity.
>
>
>
>Since then, no one in my family has planned any surprise parties.
>
>
>
>2nd Place.
>
>
>
>A lady picked up several items at a discount store.
>
>
>
>When she finally got up to the checkout, she learned that one of the
>
>items had no price tag.
>
>
>
>The checkout girl got on the public address system, which boomed out
>
>Across the store for everyone to hear, "Price check for Tampax super size".
>
>
>
>Then it got worse. Someone at the rear of the store apparently
>misunderstood
>
>
>the word Tampax' for 'Thumbtacks', a guy, his voice booming Over the same
>public
>
>address system: "Do you want the kind you push in with your thumb or the
>
>kind you belt in with a hammer?"
>
>
>
>1st Place
>
>
>
>And the winner is....
>
>
>
>This happened at a major Australian University During a biology lecture
>
>A professor was discussing the high glucose levels found in semen.
>
>
>
>A young woman raised her hand and asked, "If I understand you correctly,
>
>You are saying there is as much glucose in male semen as in sugar?"
>
>
>
>The professor responded, "yes, that's correct", adding some statistical
>data
>
>to his lecture Raising her hand again, the girl asked, "Then why doesn't it
>taste sweet?"
>
>After a stunned silence, the whole class burst out laughing.
>
>
>
>The poor girl turned bright red, and as she realised exactly what she had
>inadvertently said,
>
>she picked up her books, and without another word, walked out of the class
>-
>
>
>As she was heading for the door, the professor's reply was a classic.
>
>
>
>Totally straight faced, he answered her question. "It doesn't taste sweet
>
>because the taste-buds for sweetness are on the tip of your tongue and not
>in
>
>the back of your throat."
>
> >

For more stories of humiliation, faux pas and flat-out blunders:

http://timblair.net/ee/index.php/weblog/comments/cant_see_the_joke/

Sorry, that link doesn't work. Operator problem. Go to timblair.net and scroll down.